Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Just came back from work. OT as usual today. But today's OT damn pissed me off. Imagine this.

I was given the task by one of the perm staff to do some research. I cannot diverge more as it contains sensitive issues. I shall give a analogy. The perm staff sent me an email to say: " we are trying to sell a 'bag' to a customer and please try to find out about all the big and nice 'bags' in Asia.

If you were me, what would u do?

1) Find out the big bags and compile a summary of the big bags features
2) Read about the bags available and seek the details that the bags could be put on sale.

I did number 1 but actually he wanted number 2. WTF? am i wrong or wat? I found all the big bags of Asia and was about to leave at 930pm when i went to him. He told me i should do number 2!! I wasn't briefed at all before that u know. He said " those bags are too big, do u tink they will be put on sale? i told him i gathered around 15 such bags and he said " it;s not about the number, not say put 15 different bags and the job is done"

wat the fuck? I sensed he has a underlying meaning in his words. Did he mean i am just trying to get by my PA and not taking my work serious?? If i weren't not serious, i would have left at 6pm sharp and throw him anything that i have found. Would i have stayed until 10pm?

I wondered on the train why did i take this shit. OT plus insult to my ego whereas my friends just look forward to leaving office at 530 or 6pm sharp. And worst thing i had to be nice when i feel like showing him my middle finger. I just to have sleep and forget about this.

I feel like a loser. Pui



Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I am writing this entry at my desk now bcos i am quite idle. Very idle i mean. Haha, u must be wondering how could this word "Idle" can ever appear during my intern period. I mean i was just writing of how busy and late was i on my last entry.

I seriously tink it's the nature of the job and the fact that i am an intern. I have asked the associates if there is anything i can help them or not. It was a confirm No because i guess they are afraid that i would screw up their stuff. haha.

I dun enjoy the feeling that i wouldn't learn anything after this 10 weeks. It is a shitty feeling and that i don't equip myself with any skills after 10 weeks with a Corporate Finance team. Then how can i differentiate myself from the others when i go for job interviews 1 year from now? I know it's only the 2nd week and it may be the beginning that's y i am unable to contribute. Surely, it is not much of an excuse?

Am i supposed to go and beg for something to do?



Thursday, May 11, 2006

First week of internship is over for most. How's things for all my friends?? I'm sure some of them would find it very excited and interesting while some would find it shit as hell. How is mine then? I seriously dunno. haha

Most people would find mine shitty as hell. 1st day: finished at 730pm. Day 2: Finished at 9pm. Day 3: Finished at 10pm. Today was the 4th day. I left at 830pm. Which is??? OTOTOTOT! I dunno how should i put in? The department is real busy and i hope i am of some help to the department. For these days, i have been doing tonnes of research on companies, some ulu-porkish until some would never hear of even when they all die. I have been doing some presentation stuffs. All these are enough to make me sit at my desk from morning until night lorz.

I am very sure there are a lot of things for me to learn. But the guys there are just too busy to teach me.They come in around 930, never go for lunch and work in the office until 10 or 11pm everyday. Are they human or what? I too dun dare to slack. Even when i go for lunch, i would do it in double quick time. For dinner, i would either take away to my office or eat after my late work.

Tomorrow's a public holiday and no surprises, work as usual for me tomorrow. But at least i can go to the office at 12noon. but i tink i would be stuck there until late night again cos my supervisor is back from overseas tonight. So my week 1 has not ended yet, will not be so fast bcos it is highly likely that i would spend my weekend in office as well. :(

No doubt IB is very challenging and interesting. Get to travel and earn tons of money. But how about spending ur life in the office day in day out, especially at night when ray from the spot light just shine on you alone. How sad.

1 gd thing. I have Net access so i would be able to surf my blog when i am a bit free or bored. other than that, the word "OT" is just written all over my forehead.



Friday, May 05, 2006

This morning i just to sign contract with the company i am going to be doing my professional attachment with. I can't believe that i am going to be thrown into the corporate jungle this coming Monday!!

i dunno how i feel. It is a mixture of uneasiness and looking forward. I am kinda worried that i would not be able to rise up to the occasion and perform beyond expectation. For sure i expect a lot a lot from myself but i am not very sure if it is enough in the corporate world. Of course, i dun think i would be doing a lot of significant stuff being an intern but it is the really the first time i am working in an office. A real office.

What if i am fucking slow in doing work? What if my superior is not on friendly terms with me? What if i cock up the things i am going to do?

On the other hand, i am kinda looking forward to the new phrase of my school life. I would be able to learn new skills which is really used in the working world. Things which i dunno. And it would definitely shows how myopic am i and how little knowledge i have. I want to make sure i am able to survive out there when i am no longer sheltered by the school. I am all ready to slog my heart out, i am fine with OTs to midnight because i dun have much life. As long as i get the job done with my team. i am fine too if i need to work during weekends if i can really contribute. I am very sure i would be able to gain a whole new insight on the entire world at the end of my internship.

I dunno if my friends know me as such a person, but i feel i am an aggressive and have a strong desire for success. And now it is the time to put my aggression and desire to the litmus test. I am not going all out to impress whoever, but i certainly want to do my very best and make sure my performance is up to the mark.

So, i guess the days of being wild and all, getting drunk is certainly over. I need to move on to the demands of life. No more Sean baby, haha. Just need to stay focus and slog my way in Downtown. Aim? Survive out there in the Downtown and assure myself that i am at least good in my work.



Thursday, May 04, 2006

Last night my friends and i were zouk. We are a bunch of die hard zoukies, swearing by the tunes like Square Rooms, Summer Rain and Great Commandment. As usual, whenever i chiong with audrey and gang, we would be dead drunk. Last night was no exception and i swear i found the new meaning of drunk last night.

Indeed, alcohol made us high as we danced to the tunes and i enjoyed it very much. I went totally crazy. But i dun enjoy the hangover i am experiencing right now. The puking is just too disgusting and i am those kind who cannot puke much. Hence, i would be squatting, making those 'want-to vomit' sound. And i was still puking this afternoon when i woke up. WTF! Did i really drink that much or it's just my liver that is so damn slow in processing those booze. and even now i am still sweating like fuck. It's mad.

Actually, i dun like the feeling of getting drunk. The highness is of course tempting but at the point of puking and cannot walk straight, i felt very vulnerable. The feeling of unable to control my own actions scares the shit out of me.And i hate the feeling that i might not be able to go home myself in one piece or scare the shit out of my folks. And yahz, when i am drunk, i became an liability to my friends because they have to control my madness.

I also realised i cry when i am fucking drunk. Dun bother to ask me cos i dun have an answer. I wasn't sad nor troubled by anything but i just cried when i was puking.

Anyway, i should take this opportunity to give some of my friends credit for last night.

Yunting and guanjun>> thanks for sending me home to ensure i dun sleep on the streets

Chang and kanjian>> thanks for taking care of me when we were at the dancefloor. I cannot imagine what would have happened to me if both of you were not around.

Sean>> ohh my fave.yum yum. Though i didn't managed to eat him up, i still must thank you. For being there bahz. I tink you went because u foresee that audrey and i would be fucking drunk. Oh dun be so scared of me, i am a nice person!!

I tink i would probably stop all these shit from now on. It's not fun getting drunk everytime when i go clubbing. I should learn to be a wholesome person. No more booze from now on.



Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Look at the test i have done..on flirting. Woah, it turns out that i am a real gd flirt! " So good that i dun even realise that i am flirting!"

Is it true?? I dunno but i think to some extent it might be true. When i pao mei yan, wah i think i am quite a turn on!! haha

Friends tell me about it. Am i a good flirt? If i am, then it means i am hot. H-O-T. Period