Monday, September 17, 2007

I cooked Bak Ku Teh this evening for dinner, as i have already said in my previous entry. And i did it!..yahz it wasn't that difficult all of you might say. True, but come on, gimme some credit! When i ate the tender pork meat (i didn't want to buy pork ribs), i felt a small sense of achievement. Personal achievement that is. I know, being alone in a foreign land and surviving until now is already a huge achievement by itself. I am proud of that as well. I am proud of the fact that i can cook something now as well.

These few days, i am feeling a stronger urge to return to Singapore. I love being in Vilnius, i am sure everyone who has been following my blog is well aware how much i enjoy staying here. But i started to have some kind of reality check on myself. I look forward to return home because i would have a pay rise. What am i getting now for my job is sufficient for a temporary stay here, but i have commitments back home, plus the difference in living standards. I did my sums this afternoon and this are my expected expenses:

Food - 300
Transportation - 200
University Loan - 500
Family Allowance - 400
Insurance - 170
Fone Bills - 50

That is already 1620. Bare minimum to get by. Not to mention some unforeseen expenses, like birthday presents plus neccesities purchases. I absolutely have no idea how much i will be getting and it keeps me in tenterhooks. I dun expect to be paid like my peers in big banks because the circumstances are different but i surely need a minimum sum to survive and live comfortably and to provide for my family. It is a fact.

You could have said i can go easy on repaying my university loan and family allowance now, depending how much i draw for my salary. Yes, but i rather not. My dad cleared the loan on my behalf and i think it is only fair i return his money as soon as possible since it is from his retirement nest. Money is always an issue, that is the problem

I am living a relatively frugal life now, and i always wish i dun have to think so hard when making purchases. Okay for now, i am trying to save for my holiday trip which explains my need to save.

And i admit that i feel unbalanced when my peers are applying credit cards back home. I dun want to compare because all of us lead a different life but it is just the materialistic part of me taking control for the moment.

Maybe i shouldn;t tink so much and enjoy while i can for the moment. Leave problems as they are. Some things are beyond control